Did I ever think I would be properly educated in relationships to give advice to complete strangers? No, not at all. However, I have been in a relationship for almost two full years and with permission from my girlfriend, I want to share the keys that have helped us get to this point without any serious, damaging fights that set us back.
Communication! Especially in a long distance relationship!
Long distance relationships suck. If you’ve been in one, you know how much they truly suck. But I love my girlfriend more than anything and never have thought about cutting the relationship off due to distance. I have a few small bullet points for communication, most of which are essential to our personal success.
Be In Contact
Me and Eileen talk every single night on FaceTime. Sometimes the calls last two hours and sometimes the calls last five minutes. But they’re constant. It’s something to look forward to every night; seeing that warm smile and little giggles are priceless.
More often than not, the calls are like twenty to thirty minutes. It’s enough time for us to talk about each other’s days and a couple of other things on our mind. Then we say goodnight and head off to watch a show, read, listen to music, or play games. There’s never any personal malice in saying goodbye because we acknowledge we have different desires, but talking to each other is always one of them.
Never Go To Sleep Angry
One method we’ve used throughout our relationship is to never go to sleep angry at each other. It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true. If either of us are upset, angry, or disappointed with each other, we’re not allowed to sleep. You should always go to sleep happy.
For example, if there is a problem that needs discussing, we bring it up. We’ll talk to each other, find a solution to the problem at hand, and move on. It doesn’t always mean we’ll go to sleep happy, but sometimes just being content is the best solution.
Check In On Your Partner
This could be something peculiar to myself and my girlfriend, but we like to check in on each other every so often. Sometimes, you just need to have that platform to talk and you’re uncomfortable just bringing it up out of nowhere. That’s understandable.
As someone who dealt with mental health issues in the past, sometimes someone just asking “are you okay?” can help the emotion flow more freely. You feel less like a burden and more like two humans having a conversation.
Understand Your/Your Partner’s Love Language
As simple as it may sound, understanding which love language your partner uses can help avoid a lot of issues in relationships. To remind everyone, the five are: Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, Words of Affirmation.
As for me, I won’t say what love language I have because my girlfriend already knows and there’s no need to put that out there on the internet. Some people have multiple love languages as well. Knowing how to love somebody properly has no boundaries.
Everybody’s relationship is different, especially since a lot of people are in short distance relationships. It has been noted in a scientific study that long distance couples are more satisfied because of the constant communication between each other. While long distance sucks, I hope to move with my girlfriend in the fall and we can continue where we left on in Ireland.
Today’s photo is from the IES building in Dublin, where we had classes for 3.5 months. I hope to go back there soon.
Overall Feelings: Bad