Every single adult human being on Earth has dealt with rejection in some way or form. It could be an advance at a love interest, or applying for college or a job. Everyone has their own experiences, differing significantly or minorly.
The Educational Sphere
I’ve recently entered a stage in life where rejection is around every corner. As I finished my bachelor degree at Purdue (I went 5/5 on undergraduate applications), I began graduate applications. I went into this with the expectation of maybe receiving letters of admittance for two or three institutions, out of the fifteen I applied to. I got one rejection, then another, then another, and so on. By the time every school reached out to me with decisions coming as late as mid-March, I had fifteen rejections in my inbox. Each email contained a similar message, something similar to: “We regret to inform you…”.
I understood the rejection rate far exceeded the acceptance rate (ranging from 1-5% for most programs; University of Washington claims their rate is “generally less than 5% [Department of English]). I had programs spanning across the United States as far as Oregon to the East Coast in Gainsville, as well as some programs overseas. Seeing the same formula of email once or twice might hurt, but watching those fifteen automated responses does something worse than basic hurt.
I understand most adults experience the educational rejection much earlier. I was fortunate to have success in all of my undergraduate applications, but then again, I applied to schools where I had a chance. Not a single university for my undergraduate were “reach schools” by my definition. Every university or school I applied to for graduate studies was a reach, by the vicious acceptance rate.
For some, however, the reach is worth it. My girlfriend went through the same process as me, with around half of the same schools (I applied in prose, her, poetry). Out of the fifteen she applied to, only one accepted her, one waitlisted her, and the other thirteen missed out on a future generational poet. Now, she’s getting to write poetry and develop her writing further in an educational setting.
The Horrible Job Market
No politics, but Biden’s presidency claims to have created many jobs (15.7 million, claimed, as of July 5th, 2024). While these jobs might be created, they’re certainly making them harder to apply and get hired. I’ve applied to over ~75 jobs, spanning from education, retail, customer service, etc. and only been extended three offers. Two jobs I turned down after research of them being scams, and one of those had horrendous pay. The job I accepted was a desperation acceptance, as my savings can only take me so far.
The biggest problem behind hiring nowadays is the blatant lies spread by employers. Quickly take a look at a job board (LinkedIn, Indeed, Glassdoor). Search by “entry-level”, and begin scrolling through, taking note of the “experience” tab. Some of these jobs are looking for professionals with multiple years in the industry, when entry-level should be just that.
The worst part about rejection by employers is that it’s not always a guarantee to receive a response. Half of the jobs (estimation) I’ve applied to, I haven’t been informed of a rejection or acceptance. I’ve been straight up ghosted, which in itself is a form of rejection. I remember growing up hearing that a Bachelor degree almost means a guaranteed job after graduation. Either I was completely naive, or the world has changed.
Unsettling Society
Outside of school and work, everyone has most likely had their individual run-ins with rejection. Perhaps a rejection from a love interest, or an attempt at making new friends in a new city. As someone who has moved around a lot after high school, I can attest to the first (less to the latter).
Romantically, I’ve been pretty much a one-and-done. I found my person, and that’s that. However, dating before I met Eileen was very rough around the edges. I myself had done some rejecting, and was rejected by others. While it did put a damper on my mood at the time, it’s too far back to remember the true emotions of in person rejections. Tinder and Bumble (and other dating apps), have a similar sentiment, although ghosting is much more common.
I have moved a lot, living in New Hampshire (Bow and Bradford), Indiana, Texas, and even a short time in Ireland, studying. One thing that humans need is companionship, whether it be from love or camaraderie. Friends can help fill that void, so it’s important wherever you travel to make friendships. However, some people don’t mesh and that’s okay. That’s valuable to know at any age, putting yourself first before any potential friends. This is when rejection is okay.
Life Without Rejection
To put it simply, life without rejection simply is not life. If you can walk through life unscathed and protected from rejection, what kind of life are you living? At every corner, there will be some form of rejection waiting you. It could be a job you really wanted, or a romantic advance on a potential lover. The toughest part is walking through that rejection unharmed emotionally.
The reason for writing this post is because I was recently rejected from a position I believed to be a strong candidate for. I hadn’t put all my eggs in one basket, but I had hope that would end my job search. Unfortunately, not everything you hope for can come true. I had to remind myself that this rejection will make me all the stronger in the future, and the best I can do is show them that they’re missing out on a qualified, hard-working individual that could’ve made them a better company.
This specific rejection is just another in the long line of rejections I’ve received in the past couple of years. It works as fuel to fire me up and get working on projects I previously shelved, or have been working at slowly. Never let a rejection take you down. Use it as fuel to your own personal fire, and make yourself better for it.
Cover photo credits to: Thrive USA Care Services