I thought I would try more of a list blog today, the ones that Buzzfeed became popular off of. As someone who has lived alone for multiple years of my life, I feel like I’ve mastered the art of living alone. Yes, I just said the “art” of it. Living alone isn’t for everybody, keep in mind. I’ve spent time with people that would’ve been miserable in situations I was put in. I’ve lived alone in two different states, and two different countries and feel that I have the ultimate guide to not feeling lonely while isolated.
In almost every situation, I’m typically living alone because I’m moving to a place unfamiliar to myself. When I first moved to college in Indiana, I had no prior knowledge of anyone that lived there. The same can be applied to Ireland; I talked with people, but I didn’t truly know anyone. The first night I spent in Ireland, I sat in my room and never felt more alone in my life. It was once I stretched out of my comfort zone did I find how vibrant the city was, even if I didn’t know a single person.
1. Get Outside
This tip is straight from my Ireland loneliness. The minute that I stepped outside on the streets of Dublin and started exploring on my own was when I felt better. It could be one or a combination of fresh air, seeing other people in a society, and moving my feet.
Especially when in a new city (over a town), there’s plenty to explore. This applies even more when you’re in a foreign country. There’s a joke I sent to my girlfriend about how it’s never a vacation in a foreign country since we walk around for twelve hours.
A bonus about Dublin is all of the parks in and around the city center. St. Stephen’s Green is about a ten minute walk from O’Connell Street and right next to Grafton Street. There’s seemingly hundreds of smaller, lesser-known block-sized parks in the city too.
2. Talk to Locals
This one definitely won’t apply to a lot of people, mostly the insecure and anxiety-riddled. One thing that helped me become more acclimated in a new city/town was talking to people from around the area. This applies again more to the Ireland side because at Purdue, I was talking with people from all over in the same boat as myself.
However, talking with anyone after not knowing anybody is a lifesaver. Don’t go into these conversations with strangers like you’re expecting a friend out of the deal. I met plenty of people and never clicked with any of them. Friends come naturally, never by force (I can probably be proven wrong here, but alas).
Another great way to reach out to people local to the new area is by going out to bars and clubs. I can only speak for bars (I tried to get into a club and got rejected for wearing sweatpants. Never again.). Bar culture is typically very inviting, especially in bigger cities. It’s a big bonus that alcohol can often bring people out of their shells. I do not promote drinking, but if you do drink, this is a great way to talk to new people.
But again, keep in mind that this isn’t a surefire way to meet new friends. It’s an efficient way to meet new people, but not friends. I can’t count how many times I’ve talked with people at bars, got their contacts, and never messaged them after.
3. Present Yourself How You Want
I’ve noticed how some people, when meeting new people, present themselves in a different light compared to how they would to me. But you can only truly tell when it’s somebody you’ve known for at least a few months. If you’re a stranger putting on an act, other people would never know.
A lot of people are known to have multiple sides of their personality, and code-switch almost fluently between them. For example, a random person named Joel may use personality A while at work, and personality B when he’s home. There’s nothing unnatural about wanting to present yourselves in different ways to different people.
Normally I’m a very shut-in person, but during my opening few weeks at college (alone), I put on a more friendly personality to attract potential friends. Did it work? Not really, but the attempt is what mattered.
4. Adopt a Pet
This one is the black sheep in the mix, simply because all of the other ones involve other people. This one involves a completely different animal. The reasoning behind this is that humans naturally want something to take care of. Once you’re an adult and done raising yourself, you’re not ready to take on the responsibility of raising something else.
Whether your skill level of caretaking can only handle a beta fish, or it can handle a husky, it feels natural to dedicate time and effort to helping something flourish. This could even apply to houseplants, if you really can’t handle even a fish.
As for me, I adopted one frog named Greg, breaking the dorm rules of biggest pet to be fish. It may be stupid, but Greg gave me a new sense of caretaking. Now, I think about him when I use flashing lights, or make loud noises, and when to feed. Is the tank properly humidified?
I could add 10 more reasons, but alas, I am one man and I don’t get paid for this.
Today’s Cover Picture: A picture of a statue near Dublin Castle, representing David and Goliath, or the respect for the George, one of Dublin’s most popular gay bars right behind the wall. I turned this in for a photography portfolio in Dublin.